In my life, I’ve experienced two kinds of discipleship. The first kind is the one I signed up for—formal programs or relationships where the goal was clear: to grow in my relationship with Jesus. The second kind has been those beautiful moments when someone voluntarily stepped into my life, offering wisdom, guidance, and encouragement without my asking. Both types have profoundly shaped me.
DISCIPLESHIP IN REAL LIFE
I’ve had incredible mentors over the years, people who came alongside me when I needed guidance the most. Some of my earliest experiences with discipleship came through small groups in high school and youth group. There was something special about those spaces—intentional time set aside to learn about God, share struggles, and grow together. My mom, too, was a key figure in my spiritual development. She didn’t just teach me about faith; she lived it out in ways that inspired me to follow Jesus with all my heart.
As I look around at the culture today, it’s interesting to see how discipleship is being reframed. The term itself isn’t often used, but the concept shows up in other ways. Hiring a coach, for instance, has become a popular option. In some cases, Christian coaches offer programs that sound a lot like discipleship—structured time spent learning from someone with the goal of becoming more like them. While I can see the value in these programs, I can’t help but wrestle with the idea of “discipleship for hire.” True discipleship, as I understand it, is deeply relational and born out of a mutual desire to grow closer to Jesus. It’s not transactional; it’s transformative.
Discipleship isn’t about a program or a transaction; it’s about transformation. Whether it’s through a mentor who steps into your life unasked or a community that lifts you up when you’re struggling, true discipleship points us back to Jesus and reminds us that we don’t walk this journey alone.
Beyond coaching, I’ve noticed other forms of mentorship emerging in our culture—spiritual direction, network marketing models, and even social media influencers who share their journeys of faith. These aren’t inherently bad, but they’ve made me reflect on what discipleship truly means. At its core, discipleship is about walking alongside someone, pointing them to Jesus, and allowing them to do the same for you. It’s a shared journey of faith, not a one-sided exchange of information.
One of the most powerful examples of discipleship in the Bible comes from Mark 2:1-12, the story of the paralyzed man whose friends carried him to Jesus. The house where Jesus was teaching was so packed that they couldn’t get in, so these friends climbed onto the roof, dug a hole, and lowered the man down right in front of Jesus. What stands out to me in this story is the faith of the friends. Their belief in Jesus’ power carried their friend—both literally and spiritually—when he couldn’t carry himself.
I thought a lot about this story recently as I faced some scary medical news about my upcoming delivery. Doctors threw out frightening scenarios, and even though I’m usually good at taking things one piece at a time, I found myself struggling. Fear started to creep in, and I couldn’t seem to shake it.
During that time, I leaned heavily on the wise and wonderful women in my life. Each time I shared my fears, they responded with peace, joy, and confidence that everything would be okay. Their unwavering belief kept me grounded. Even when I couldn’t muster up the faith to believe it myself, I could borrow their belief. They carried me in the same way the paralyzed man’s friends carried him to Jesus.
This experience reminded me of the importance of community in our faith journeys. We were never meant to do this alone. Just as the Bible calls us to disciple others, it also assumes that at various points in our lives, we will need to be discipled. It’s a two-way street—giving and receiving, carrying and being carried.
The Bible is full of examples of discipleship relationships. In the Old Testament, we see Moses and Joshua, Elijah and Elisha. In the New Testament, there’s Jesus and his disciples, Paul and Timothy. These relationships weren’t just about passing on knowledge; they were about shaping character, deepening faith, and pointing people toward God. That’s what makes discipleship so powerful—it’s about transformation, not just information.
Jesus himself gave us clear instructions about discipleship. In Matthew 28:19-20, he calls us to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them and teaching them to obey his commands. In John 13:34-35, he tells us to love one another as he has loved us, saying that this love will show the world we are his disciples. Other passages, like Luke 9:23 and Matthew 16:24-26, challenge us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow him. It’s a high calling, but it’s one that comes with the promise of his presence and power.
One of the most meaningful aspects of discipleship is finding mentors who embody these biblical principles. A good mentor isn’t someone who tells you what to do or tries to mold you into their image. Instead, they point you to Jesus and create space for the Holy Spirit to work in your life. They listen more than they speak, align their actions with their words, and display the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
As I reflect on my own journey, I’m struck by how much I’ve learned from the mentors in my life. They’ve taught me to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, to lean into God’s promises, and to trust that he is always at work, even in the hardest seasons. They’ve also challenged me to step into my own role as a disciple-maker, sharing what I’ve learned with others and inviting them to walk with me as we follow Jesus together.
If you’re wondering whether you’re in a season where you need a discipleship mentor, take some time to reflect. Write a list of people who have had a significant impact on your faith journey. Pray and ask Jesus to reveal someone in your life you’d like to spend more time with and learn from. At the same time, ask him to reveal any toxic discipleship relationships that may need boundaries. Not every relationship is life-giving, and it’s okay to seek guidance about which ones to invest in.
Discipleship isn’t just a program or a relationship—it’s a way of life. It’s about becoming more like Jesus and helping others do the same. Whether you’re being carried by someone else’s faith or carrying others, it’s all part of the journey. And along the way, we can trust that Jesus is with us, guiding us, and transforming us into his image.
So, who are the people in your life that have carried you? Who might God be calling you to carry? Let’s lean into the beautiful messiness of discipleship together, trusting that as we do, we’ll see Jesus more clearly and experience his love more deeply than ever before.
